The Hidden Link Between Childhood Trauma and Money Struggles

August 3, 2025

Do you have a hard time making decisions? Does EVERY. LITTLE. THING. Seems like a BIG PRODUCTION? I can’t even pick out a head of lettuce at the store without feeling every single one and deliberating! Sometimes, I can’t even commit to throwing out my used tissues!

TERRIFIED of loss. TERRIFIED of being abused--financially, physically, mentally. TERRIFIED of being accused of “being bad” or “hurting someone’s feelings”.

WHY? TRAUMA!--By the way, My name is Liberty V Justice I own I'm Worth It Inc. I empower Trauma Survivors to become TRAUMA THRIVERS (like me) by giving you the mental toolbox & skills to help you succeed in business! You're worth it! (and YES, I changed my name LEGALLY to Liberty V Justice--Christ & I freed me and one of my Middle names (It's just a V) is Victorious! (OPPOSITE of victim)

When my Aunt Kathy died, June 2, 2025 I started researching trauma and how to help you heal your trauma. That’s when I realized I needed to help myself. I needed more healing for myself. I learned I suffer from Betrayal Trauma.

Betrayal trauma is defined as a trauma perpetrated by someone with whom the victim is close to and reliant upon for support and survival.

I WAS LIED TO. I was mentally tortured EVERY DAY. I was beaten. Most of the beatings were forgotten, UNLESS they came with a BIG VERBAL VOMITING. They always had a FINANCIAL reason for the beatings. “You took my income away!” I’ll NEVER forget that one! Beaten with a mop on the kitchen floor because my dad went to prison for raping me.

There was a time I couldn't even trust my own memory. That’s because of the drugs (“psyche meds”) they made me take & the lies I was told. “You lied about the rape.” & the LIES I TOLD MYSELF TO COPE---”This is my ‘family’ ” and I “LOVE THEM”.

That’s called dissociation

You start to feel sorry for your abuser(s). And because YOU care about THEM so much, you start to trust them and their lies and question yourself. And because you depend on them for your financial needs--food, shelter etc. (and because YOU BELIEVE ONE DAY THEY WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED emotionally), you start to rationalize and you minimize what they do to you “it’s not that bad” “My love will save them” and “I understand they’ve been through HELL in their childhood. Their mom/dad did this stuff to them _____”.

All this is called “rumination” in psychology and it DRIVES YOU NUTS AND TAKES ALL YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ENERGY & stops you from creating things that can empower you financially.

You can’t trust your own memory. (Even though you know what happened.) You trust them and their lies instead of trusting yourself.

So, now you start to doubt yourself. You start to doubt everything that you ever believed in the past. You start to question every little choice. Every little decision. Every person.

You don’t trust anything or anybody, least of all yourself. And it erodes your self-confidence & self-worth.

Everything that you say and everything that you do, everything that you don’t say or don’t do causes more self doubt and more insecurity, more poor decisions, poor (or NON EXISTENT) relationships which means poor finances.

THEY WEAPONIZE YOUR feelings for them AND YOUR MORALITY (You think “I’m a good person”).

DECISIONS, EMOTIONS & MONEY

As a kid, you learn (because they tell you) “A GOOD PERSON WOULD NEVER ask an ABUSER FOR MONEY BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE THE GOOD PERSON (YOU) A BAD PERSON” AND YOU MUST be punished for that!

(When you grow up, as a business owner -- you’re afraid to ask for payments for your products & services, or for compensation for your time. When you do, you get abused and accused--so you feel like a bad person and you’re afraid of more VERBAL VOMITING, so you stop asking. (OR you spend ALL YOUR TIME WITH LOSERS WHO DO NOTHING but talk (DO NOT create! DO NOT own businesses) and USE YOU as a tampon or EMOTIONAL PINATA! (Because THEY KNOW you will take it!) YOU “need them” and their $20-$200 PER YEAR! GUESS WHAT? YOU STAY broke and or homeless and THEY STAY BROKE LOSERS BUT JUST A LITTLE “BETTER” than you! (IN THEIR MINDS).

Your fear & guilt from your past traumas attract CHEAP PEOPLE who DO NOT WANT TO PAY YOU!

You FEEL guilty so you ACT guilty and you ATTRACT guilty--FEAR Same--you FEEL fearful so you ACT FEARFUL and you ATTRACT Fearful--THESE EMOTIONS INVITE VICTIMS TO VICTIMIZE YOU!

I don’t know how YOU deal with trauma and your past mistakes--- but for me--I have been known to turn every day choices into BIG productions.

I have TWO EXTREMES: I COMMIT TO BAD THINGS (people, ideas, things, places) WAY TOO LONG! (like the abusive “family” & CHEAP customers I was telling you about (watch these episodes).

On the other extreme-- I have MAJOR problems committing --to ANYTHING OR ANYBODY--new friends or relationships of ANY kind, buying food (or other purchases), any type of decisions. I stick with the EVIL I know--(people, places, things (TINY MONEY) . that “KNOWING” (I KNOW how these “FAMILY” and cheap customers will treat me--that gives the certainty I have been DREAMING OF SINCE I WAS A CHILD--but SIMULTANEOUSLY KEEPS ME STUCK IN INSTABILITY AND POVERTY! (The same is true for YOU, I’m betting.)

I was always afraid "I'd make the wrong choice” and it would hurt me emotionally (abuse). Then, if I run out of money for food, housing or basic needs,

#1 it means I’m “Stupid” or “incompetent”.

#2 WORST OF ALL:

I AM AT THE MERCY of others and SLAMMED SHUT into A PRISON of BEGGING AND VICTIMHOOD--- which will allow others to treat me any way they choose!

I WASTE SO MUCH TIME AND KISS SO MUCH A--. (not just the abusers’ but all those that I “need” to do something for me).

Even if THEY ONLY HAVE A MINIMUM WAGE JOB--and you’re asking at the grocery store for a code for the toilet or a discount on food--THEY ARE IN A POSITION OF POWER OVER YOU--

Trigger: and I HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED of MY BASIC HUMAN NEEDS --TOILET for example--BY PEOPLE IN THIS “POWER” position--

Retraumatized : WHICH RE OPENED MY WOUNDS from childhood AND CAUSED ME MORE WASTED TIME AND ENERGY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WAYS TO AVOID THIS PERSON OR PLACE AND FIND WAYS TO GET MY NEEDS (LIKE A TOILET)

DECIDE THAT NO MATTER WHAT:

1) I’m A GENIUS & I MAKE GREAT DECISIONS

2) It’s not about making the right decision, it’s about MAKING THE DECISION RIGHT! (Quote (idk who said it but it CHANGED MY LIFE!) IT’S TRUE! YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT! NOTHING is permanent!

DECIDE comes from latin, same root as “incision” TO CUT OFF all other possibilities.

PRE decide --take LITTLE things off my plate so i can focus on the BIG things: LIKE HEALING AND TEACHING YOU what I’m learning AS I GO!

BTW: SOMEONE BEING ABUSED IN CHILDHOOD IS NO EXCUSE NOR a LICENSE to treat you badly (you've been abused, do YOU abuse others & think it's YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT?)

AND SOMEONE “loving you” or being “FAMILY” to you IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR YOU TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM IN ANY way OR allow abuse--IN ANY WAY! YOU WILL FEEL INSANELY “BAD” -GUILTY, FEARFUL ETC--but, believe me, YOU WILL get over it and YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH LIGHTER AND PROUD OF YOU! You’re worth it!

Love, Liberty V Justice OWNER I'm Worth It Inc. & YouTube TV Channel I'm Worth It! www.YouTube.com/@IMWORTHITINC

(Here's a VERY OLD version of me singing "Hell is for Children" by Pat Benatar!